A large percentage of what we believe is driven by the subconscious mind.

When we’re around 7 years old, for example, and our sense of self isn’t confirmed or supported, we feel hurt, confused, and uncertain. That’s when the subconscious takes over and tries to fill in the gaps — coming up with plausible and comforting explanations that form the basis of our core beliefs. These become rigid understandings about ourselves, others, and the world — a sense of certainty and control over what we’ve accepted as truth.

Let’s not forget that until about age 7, we don’t have critical thinking or logical filters. We perceive the world through our parents’ lens, which we accept as our only truth.

Now imagine someone growing up in an aggressive environment. They might believe “love is aggressive and unsafe” or “I shouldn’t express my feelings because I’ll feel exposed and unsafe.” As we’ve said, these aren’t proven truths — but within our inner belief system, we will keep creating conditions and experiences that reinforce them.

As a result, we develop subconscious strategies to handle the emotional tension these beliefs cause.

For example, if I believe it’s not safe to show my feelings, I might subconsciously adopt a more masculine or tough exterior — someone who focuses on action and holds back emotions. Unfortunately, because I see emotions as unsafe, I’ll be drawn to people who reinforce this belief.

Every “random” encounter in our life reflects our internal beliefs. These beliefs define our sense of self, our view of others, and the world around us.The quality of our lives is a direct reflection of the meaning we give to the emotions triggered by our beliefs — and the people we choose to surround ourselves with.Let’s not forget that the beliefs we formed at a younger age once helped us survive certain situations. Today, they still function at a subconscious level and attract situations and challenges that are no longer useful or beneficial